Well, let me back up a little - my father wasnever in the picture. Well, I knew that I must have had one to get Mompregnant, but he never lived with us, and she'd never tell me anythingabout him: "Danny, stop asking all those questions. I'll tell you abouthim when the time comes", she'd say. Well, shit Mom, if the time hasn'tcome in seventeen years, when will it come? But I guess that Mom hadbeen more forthcoming with Cindy about what had happened because Cindytold me that Mom had confided in her that she had been raped at the ageof fourteen and had gotten pregnant as a result. Apparently her parentshad been less than supportive, and being a single mother at the age offifteen didn't allow her much of a social life with her friends. She hadtold Cindy that she suspected that she shouldn't have breast fed me forso long, but holding me in her arms as I nursed on her breasts was theonly real pleasure that she had in those years. And then as I grew intomy teen years she was afraid that I'd. It was one of those things that people who didn't know pairs of identical twins called 'uncanny'. Sue and her twin always tried to phone at the same time. If one of them was hurting, the other would feel uneasy. They'd heard each other's engaged signal so often that they'd evolved Plan B. They put the phones down. Jill, being the oldest by ten minutes, would count to ten and dial again. Sue would wait for a full minute before trying. Usually, she didn't have to."So you told your sister, but not me. Why not?" I didn't know how you'd take it. I saw you go to pieces over your mother. I was afraid you'd do the same this time. And at the same time I was afraid you wouldn't go to pieces! Does that make sense?" You thought I didn't care enough. Of course I do, you silly bitch! So how did you keep it from me? You're scared stiff now - how could I not have seen it?" Just pretended it wasn't really happening. It's quite easy to put bad news out of your mind and get on with living. It only hits.
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